Chris Brown – “I Never Fell Out Of Love With Her”

On Aug. 26, the musician sat down with PEOPLE for his first interview and – as his mother Joyce Hawkins, a victim of domestic abuse herself, sat nearby – opened up about his shame over that “terrible” night, his enduring love for Rihanna and why he swears he’ll never hit a woman again.

Among Brown’s revelations:

He still loves Rihanna: “I never fell out of love with her. That just wouldn’t go away.”

How he felt right after the assault: “I was distraught … I went to my mom on the same night and told [her] what happened and broke down.”

Why he’s different from his stepfather, who he says regularly abused his mother: “I feel like he enjoyed it. He was an abuser. It was continuous.”

And Chris also has a new song called “Can’t Let You Go”, dayem, has he written 3 songs to her!

This article is courtesy of Ultimate Rihanna.